Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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