As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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