sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
