I'm gonna have a badass scar
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
