Have you finally orgasmed yet?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
