I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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