Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
