Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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