If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
