I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
