Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
