It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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