she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
