I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
