Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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