Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
