the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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