It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
