I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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