we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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