sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
