My first STD was from a foam party
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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