these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
