so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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