I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
