Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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