i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
