He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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