Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
whose parrot is this?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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