I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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