i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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