New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
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My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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