We're facebook friends in real life
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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