I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
