how can u be prego again
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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