all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
