every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
