I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
