I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize