I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just pee around me
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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