real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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