remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
