Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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