I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
you never un-have a 4some
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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