Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
