This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
