These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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