At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
is it fun? or sober?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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