There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
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Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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