Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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