i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
