He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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