Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
look no pants
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
