I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
