I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
