worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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