to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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