i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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