He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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