using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I woke up under a house in Key West
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