I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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