If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
