laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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