Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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