"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
