I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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